Recently while in a quaint boutique, I watched a woman accidently bump a piece of merchandise off a shelf. Initially, I felt bad for her, as the item broke into 3 pieces on the stone floor. However, a sense of justice suddenly came over me once I realized that the shattered item was a glass duck.
It’s not that I hate ducks on their own merit; I mean really, why would I? What did any member of the Anatidae family of birds ever do to me? While they have done nothing to me directly, symbolically they represent everything!
* Strike 1 for the duck*
Regardless of the duck-related tragedies of my youth, the fate of “all ducks in general” wasn’t sealed in my mind until a certain floundering college football team in Hippie Town, Oregon, practically transformed college football after being bankrolled by the 1959 alumni Phil Knight in the late 90s. Prior to the financial backing from Uncle Phil, the Oregon Ducks had a consistent record of accomplishing nothing for the past 100 years (sans a Sun Bowl win in 1963, and a Independence Bowl win in 1989). However, with Knight contributing more than $300 million to the athletic department at the University of Oregon over the past decade and a half, it is no mystery as to why Oregon has such a ridiculous advantage, and has become THE force to be reckoned with in college football… Then again, if any other team were given unlimited resources and a blank check, we’d see the same result.